Product Details

Lunatic Stalking For Dummies
By JennyAtLAX

List Price: $666.666

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Average customer review: 66.6-Stars
(10+ customer reviews)

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Fantasy or Non-Existent Reality

Cash in on your own personal brand of reality and fantasy. Portray a convincing gaunt, tired and undernourished POW-like look while doing so. Successfully skirt the fine line between blurred fantasy and downright non-existent reality with your apostates. Such themes revolve around anger (“you piece of shit”), destiny (“you guys do nothing to help mankind”) and/or delusion (“COB was warm and effusive as ever and happy to see me”). Deliver these commands and more with brilliant Training Routines (“TRs”) in Lunatic Stalking For Dummies. The results? You’ll appear more insistent and reliable and will be able to spin a very convincing tale about your relationship with the apostate when law enforcement calls you to the task (right down to 1,001 insignificant details). This type of stalking, “$ciomania,” conveys the belief that you and the apostate are involved in a religious relationship. You and COB are religiously entwined with all apostates; the future of $cientology depends on it!

“Narcissistic Nellie”

Be a pessimistic and stubborn stalker; lead more than follow. You’re not one of the most popular girls around? Even the most bitter apostate would be lucky to have a Nellie in their life. Nellie’s often switch back and forth from the light- to the dark-side. A true Nellie will get evil if shoved, and will go Beelzebub if pushed just right.

“After she burned all my luggage and ate my dog, spaghetti-style, I realized JennyAtLAX had satan in her.” —Sullen in Salt Lake City

Your actions and thoughts always take precedence over those of your apostate; this is exceptionally valid in where the two of you had a previous relationship (“I knew every inch of him”). Deep down, apostates find discomfort, embarrassment, loss, rejection and shame intolerable. $cientology is and always be part of their $oul! Don’t forget: your cherch is theirs; if $cientology can’t have them, then no one will!

Psych Profiles

Create your specialized brand of lunatic stalking. Will your goal be $ciomania or borderline $ciomania? Will your stalking be based on a relationship (if any) that you had with your apostate, whether that be as an acquaintance, casual date, intimate relationship, work-related or as a complete stranger? Will you technique involve becoming attached, revengeful or vindictive? A good stalker is always right! Mock up a completely anti-social veneer or paint a near-perfect social environment (make it look as if you’re still working as a cherch executive despite the fact that you haven’t slept in forty days; be “warm and fuzzy” although a hairbrush hasn’t touched your scalp in weeks).

Research of former bitter apostates has shown that without $cientology, they lack social skills. It’s clear that there isn’t one “apostate profile.”

“JennyAtLAX is my ex-wife and $cientology stole my fucking money.” —Poisonous in Pittsburgh

Manipulate Me

Even the best stalker who lacks social skills can more than make up for it in their manipulation skills. Successful stalkers manipulate former apostates through establishing contact and feeding an apostate’s obsession:

1. Use guilt: a stalkers’ favorite tool is the guilt trip. “You deserted your family, you won’t talk to your family, you won’t see your family, you sister is here, your son is here, your great-grandmother is here. They want to talk to you, you deserted your family, you piece of shit, you deserted your family.” “Your family is here to see you and you refuse to talk to them, that’s the truth.”

2. Use blackmail: a good stalker will fabricate or find something to bust an apostate’s nuts with, even if you’ve never done anything wrong. Slumming in an apostate’s Pre-Clear’s (“PC”) $cientology counseling files, once thought to be a sacred trust between counselor and PC, can expose even the slightest sin. And if you can’t find a good one, make one up! “I’ll upload your nude photos to Google Images.” “Everyone on Facebook with find out how much of a whore you are.”

3. Use accusations unfounded: be sensitive to your apostate’s buttons; know which ones to pounce on! “You’ve had zero effect, none. And nobody gives a fuck about you. That’s the truth.” “Nobody has even noticed you’re gone, man.” “Your TRs are brilliant.” “Why don’t you just stop committing suppressive acts and live a real life?”

4. Twist words: turn the apostate’s own words against him to suit $cientology’s needs. Become a master at deception! “There is no history of violence in the church.” “Mr. Miscavige was not at the property at the time.” “I never saw one scratch. I never saw one bruise. I never saw one black eye, nothing, nor did he complain about anything personally.”

“Forgive me father, JennyAtLAX made me lust over $cientology last night!” —Morose in Miami

Customer Reviews

6 out of 5 Stars, January 17, 2015
By JennyAtSLC, “Idle mOrgue” Salt Lake City
“I’m very happy with this purchase. It’s definitely easier to understand than traditional stalking textbooks!”

88 out of 5 Stars, January 15, 2015
By JennyAtDTW, “Idle mOrgue” Detroit
Lunatic Stalking For Dummies is a great place to start for anyone who has zero stalking knowledge.”

88 out of 5 Stars, January 12, 2015
By JennyAtPHL, “Idle mOrgue” Philadelphia
“Like it says! It takes the mumbo jumbo out of stalking. JennyAtLAX is so straightforward. Lunatic Stalking For Dummies cuts to the chase and wastes no time.There are no legalize or confusing words in her book. No rereading to figure out concepts. Buy It!”

9 out of 5 Stars, January 10, 2015
By JennyAtORD, “Idle mOrgue” Chicago
“I use Lunatic Stalking For Dummies at work to explain rudimentary stalking concepts to my juniors in Terminals 1 to 6. JennyAtLA does a decent job of breaking things down in layman’s terms.”

9 out of 5 Stars, January 10, 2015
By JennyAtMCI, “Idle mOrgue” Kansas City
Lunatic Stalking For Dummies is easy to read and understand. JennyAtLAX gives good information along with examples, making it very easy to comprehend.”

17 out of 5 Stars, January 8, 2015
By JennyAtMCI, “Idle mOrgue” Kansas City
“This book makes so much sense! It gives good examples too. The simple concepts can gel in your head much faster than reading boring casebooks.”

4,322 out of 5 Stars, January 7, 2015
By JennyAtYUL, “Idle mOrgue” Montreal
Lunatic Traquer For Dummies est super utile. Il prévoit tout sur il est donc tout à fait compréhensible. Une excellente lecture!”

101 out of 5 Stars, January 5, 2015
By JennyAtBOS, “Idle mOrgue” Boston
“While I have not yet finished the entire book, it is laid out nicely and so easy to follow. The language is filthy, yet readable; the content good.”

77 out of 5 Stars, January 4, 2015
By JennyAtSAN, “Idle mOrgue” San Diego
“Excellent overview of the principles of stalking. Simple, easy to understand, in typical ‘For Dummies’ style.”

8 out of 5 Stars, January 3, 2015
By JennyAtSBA, “Idle mOrgue” Santa Barbara
“The glossary could use some more definitions, but the index is thorough, so you won’t have trouble finding what you need. The cheesy humor that befalls many ‘For Dummies’ is thankfully absent here. All-in-all, this is a great overview of stalking laws wordwide.”

22.2 out of 5 Stars, January 3, 2015
By JennyAtPDX, “Idle mOrgue” Portland
“This book provides good general coverage and understanding of stalking law in plain, easy-to-understand English. I strongly recommend this book!”

193 out of 5 Stars, January 2, 2015
By JennyAtYVR, “Idle mOrgue” Vancouver
“This book was easy to read. I’m very happy with Lunatic Stalking for Dummies!”

122 out of 5 Stars, January 1, 2015
By JennyAtMCO, “Idle mOrgue” Orlando
“This book gives you stalking in a nutshell. The information is arranged in such a way that’s easy to understand. I liked it!”

007 out of 5 Stars, December 30, 2014
By JennyAtSFO, “Idle mOrgue” San Francisco
“This book covers a mixture of stalking techniques and their implementation. It is well-illustrated, with real case studies”

119.9 out of 5 Stars, December 29, 2014
By JennyAtSEA, “Idle mOrgue” Seattle
“This no nonsense book is written for stalkers and delves into stalking laws. It’s an outstanding reference book.”

44.47 out of 5 Stars, December 28, 2014
By JennyAtSTL, “Idle mOrgue” St. Louis
“This book gives stalkers a chance to see the big picture. It’s a fascinating page turner!

44.47 out of 5 Stars, December 26, 2014
By JennyAtDFW, “Idle mOrgue” Dallas
“I enjoyed Lunatic Stalking for Dummies from a lay point of view. It’s easy to read, witty, not at all dry and makes stalking entertaining.”