By JennyAtLAX
January 21, 2015

Dear Diary,

Just arrived on the MV Drinkwater®. Wow! What a deal for only $6.66 a day for a cabin with an ocean view and all the food you can gorge. Brilliant! I couldn’t resist their ad:

MV DRINKWATER® ACCOMMODATIONS

ASBESTOSBILITY

THE MV DRINKWATER® IS MORE ASBESTOSBLE THAN EVER
AND OPEN TO ALL $EA MORGUE MEMBERS
FLEEING THE GOLD BASE (AKA “GOLD,” “INT BASE,” OR “INT”), HEMET, CALIFORNIA

New Reduced Rates!

There has never been a better time to blow from the Gold Base!  These rates will absolutely help “blow-you-away”!  Shiver me timbers! Our new reduced rates give you a one-way ticket from Long Beach, California to Drinkwater Island for only $666.

Prices include:

  • All junk food (before, during, and after meals, breaks, and snacks; morning, afternoon, evening and midnight buffets; nocturnal sleep-related binging).
  • Use of onboard facilities (gym, photo ops only; pool, no diving, swimming, or sinking; etc.)

Kindly answer these questions:

  • When did you first decide to blow from the Gold Base?
  • What suppressive acts did you commit against the Gold Base?
  • Why did you infiltrate the Gold Base?
  • What were your anti-Gold Base actions or intentions?
  • Why were you hypercritical of the Gold Base?
  • Why have you departed from the Gold Base?
  • How can we assist you in achieving the best blow from the Gold Base?

MAKE YOUR RESERVATION TODAY
BLOW FROM THE GOLD BASE NOW WHILE WE STILL HAVE ROOM!

Click here to watch a video about the MV Drinkwater® sister ship

Call me onboard the MV Drinkwater® directly at

1-666-666-6666 or email at
drinkwater@drinkwater.mOrge

We hope to make your stay on MV Drinkwater® a most happy one!

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