I’m With Stupid
(Lyrics courtesy Pet Shop Boys, and have been updated for The Underground Bunker)

Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid
Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid

See COB on the TV
Call COB every day
Fly across the ocean
Just to let COB get his way
No one understands me
Where I’m coming from
Why would I be with someone
Who’s obviously so dumb?
Love comes
Love grows
Every time COB rises to meet me
Takes my hand to greet me
Love comes
Love grows
And power can give COB
Much more than anybody knows

Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid
Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid
Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid
Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid

Before we ever met
I thought like everybody did
COB was just a moron
A billion-dollar kid
COB flew up all the way
Like a hawk chasing a dove
I never thought that I would be
A sacrifice in love
It comes
It grows
And now we’re tied together
Everybody knows

Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid
Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid
Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid
Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid

Is stupid really stupid
Or a different kind of smart?
Do we really have a relationship
So special in COB’s heart?

Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid
Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid

I have to ask myself
Like any lover might:
Has COB made a fool of me?
Is he not Mr. Right?
COB grins
I pose
It’s not about sincerity
Everybody knows

Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid
Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid
Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid
Oh-oh, I’m with Stupid

Is stupid really stupid
Or a different kind of smart?
That’s how COB stole my heart
I’m with Stupid


Originally posted at The Underground Bunker (Tony Ortega on Scientology), “Give Scientology $1,000 and all you’ll get is this lousy T-shirt,” December 26, 2014; updated January 24, 2015.

Inspired by comments from richelieu jr to BosonStark: You should make the same shirt only with the eternal classic, “I’m with Stupid.” On the front the arrow can point at [L. Ron] Hubbard; on the back it can point to you, with one of his hands reaching for your wallet…

Comment from richelieu jr to JennyAtLAX [after rewording the lyrics to “I’m With Stupid”]: Nice job!

David Miscavige is the Chairman of the Board (“COB”) of the Religious Trechnology Center (“RTrC”), Cherch of $cientology International (“C$I”).

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