14 February 2015
7 to 8:30 pm
Los Angeles International Airport
Stall Number “Where’s the %!+)%&# TP” Three
Los Angeles, CA 90045
Who is JennyAtLAX?
JennyAtLAX, one of $cientology’s top management personnel, will dazzle you as you watch her as you would a crazy ball bouncing inside a box, eyes frozen and lunatic-fringed.
You stand at Gate 1, Terminal 1, Los Angeles International Airport (“LAX”), awaiting your Southwest Airlines flight home. You’ve had a busy week; you’re bushed, and can’t wait to get home to the loving embrace of your wife and a good, home-cooked meal. Without warning, three demonic creatures appear, designed to intimidate you. They manifest as three Demon Gods of Vengeance, “The Furies 3.” They are curses personified, the ghosts of tortured $ea mOrgue souls tossed into the “Hole” at the Gold Base, in the Cherch of $cientology’s international headquarters in Hemet, California. Around your feet and as far as the eye can see, Terminal 1 becomes carpeted with the coffins of arch heretics and their followers. You’re about to be torched by the flames shooting from their graves.
What should a disgruntled apostate expect from “The Furies 3”? An angel ascends, sent to enlighten you; her name, JennyAtLAX; your Savior, T.P. Talks.
T.P. Talks Can Enlighten an Apostate as to WTF and Instruct “The Furies 3”! Here’s what you’ll learn:
• How to Overcome that Starved Abused Dog Look.
• How to “CRAP” on Anyone Whenever You Want To.
• Perfect that Mary De Moss-like Lunatic Stalkerazzi Technique.
• Star in Your Very Own “Duck-Face-of-the-Damned” Short.
• Ambush, harass, intimidate and bully former Cherch members, and make it look like a random encounter.
• Conduct $unday $ervices for your own favorite crazy cult.
• Keep and maintain a pale, emaciated, unhealthy blank, creepy, far-away stare even with eye cream and a good night’s sleep.
• Act arrogant and cult-like without even trying.
• Spout bizarre lingo and abusive profanities at anyone, anytime, anywhere.
• Learn the difference between being “Robotic” and “Ronbotic.”
• Look and feel like a weird, sad nasty piece of work 24/7.
• Raise your T.P. $tatus to “Dumb, Petty, Sorry Motherf*cker.”
JennyAtLAX has worked with, among others:
Elizabeth “Countess Dracula” Bathory • Talat Pasha • Josef “Angel of Death” Mengele • Reinhard Heydrich • Osama bin Laden • Saddam Hussein • Heinrich Himmler • Adolf Eichmann • Maximilien Robespierre • Kim Il Sung • Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini • Emperor Hirohito • Nero • Caligula • James Warren “Jim” Jones • Attila the Hun • Genghis Khan • Leopold II Belgium • Tomas de Torquemada • Mao Zedong • Ivan the Terrible • Idi Amin • Pol Pot • Adolf Hitler • Joseph Stalin • Vlad Dracula • David Miscavige, Chairman of the Board (“COB”) of the Religious Trechnology Center (“RTrC”) • Dave Bloomberg and Marc Yeager • Anne Joasem, Catherine Fraser and Catherine Bernardini (the “Inch Wives”) • Gollum • Smeagol • “Precious.”
Join David Miscavige in March 2015 for:
Comment by Natlificent to JennyAtLAX: (This comment didn’t have a comment, just one photo. See “The Furies 3” photo in the picture above.)
Comment by JennyAtLAX to Natlificent: “They’ve had zero effect, none. And nobody gives a f*ck about them. That’s the truth.
“Why don’t they just end it. And start living a decent life and do something to help mankind. Cause those guys do nothing to help mankind. They are embarrassing and pathetic. Pathetic. It’s disgusting and it’s all over their faces and they look terrible.
“Wow. Embarrassing, humiliating, disgusting. An absolute embarrassment. Nobody cares. Nobody’s interested. They’ve done nothing. It’s a Goddamned joke. No one gives a crap. OK?”
Southwest Airlines, Women’s Bathroom, Stall “Where’s the %!+)%&# TP” Number 3.
Comment by Todd Tomorrow: She’s starting to laugh at herself! Quick pass her a copy of Bare-Faced Messiah.
Comment by flyonthewall to JennyAtLAX: “Spout bizarre lingo and abusive profanities at anyone, anytime, anywhere” Do you have any classes on how to stop doing this? I think I may have a problem.
Comment by JennyAtLAX to flyonthewall: I hear you, flyonthewall; with 1,556 Disqus comments, your chances for bizarre lingo and abusive profanities anytime, anywhere, anyplace increases exponentially. The Cherch of $cientology, however, can only teach you how to tear down other people, not build them up; how to invalidate people like Anderson Cooper; how to evaluate, that kind of thing.
Comment by Draco to flyonthewall: Try this:
Comment by flyonthewall to Draco: That’s just a bunch of melon farming psych propaganda! You better route your enemy line forwarding bullspit ash to ethics like RIGHT NOW MISTER SCOHB!!!!!!
Comment by JennyAtLAX to flyonthewall: Proof in the pudding that a technique like mine (“Spout bizarre lingo and abusive profanities at anyone, anytime, anywhere”) works!
Originally posted at The Underground Bunker (Tony Ortega on Scientology), “Scientology’s 2014 in review: So long to another great year in the Bunker,” December 31, 2014, updated February 3, 2015.