When you arrive at Flag, Mecca of COB Perfection, Hailley, do you ever wonder, What’s in store for me today? Will I be alright or am I in for a major sh*t storm? While you’re waiting for your next Security Check (“Sec Check”), Hailley, do you know, deep down inside, that things are going from bad to worse? Do you ever try to shake such thoughts? Do you ever hope for that bright Florida sunshine over the Flag fog that often clouds one’s thoughts?

Between sessions, do you ever have a feeling of despair, a premonition that Something Wicked This Way Comes?

Is your time at Flag a bed of roses or just endless hours in hell? Are your days at the “Happiest Place on Earth” more serious than serene? Despondent than carefree? Happy or miserable? Is there a feeling of dread that permeates the air the minute you step through the front door at the Flag Land Base?

How many hours of Sec Checking have you endured at Flag? How many sins, real or imagined, have you coughed up for your Auditor? How many crimes have you been made to feel you’ve committed during the endless hours of interrogations? How many intensives of auditing have you purchased (10? 15? 20? be honest), only to waste them in Sec Checking? How much did those intensives cost? $3,500 per intensive? $4,000? $4,500? $5,000? Have you coughed up over $100,000 for this “privilege”? How many boxes of “The Basics” book package do you have in your garage gathering dust?

Do the mindless interrogations suppress, oppress, belittle or demean you? Does being at Flag ever piss you off so much that you can barely f*cking contain yourself? Take a deep breath, Hailley, you might tell yourself, Complaints or negative responses about the confession are only a ticket to more crimes to fess up to.

Did Flag force you or your husband into borrowing thousands of dollars for torture (“Sec Checking,” that is) that you can’t readily pay back? Are your friends and co-workers envious of your statuses while you don a happy face and tell them all about how great and wonderful Flag is?

In the beginning of your first Sec Check at Flag, were you in a completely different state of mind? Did you prostrate yourself? Confess everything? Throw yourself on the mercy of the Auditor? Beg forgiveness? Did you assume the position of a sinner to a priest?

Have you ever thought that Sec Checking is nothing more than a big mind-f*ck? In the back of your mind, after countess hours of that crap, have you ever thought, I never had anything to confess!

Have you ever wanted to pop the bubble that is Flag? Have you ever wanted to flee Flag’s “hallowed halls,” and run from anyone who even remotely reminds you of a Registrar from the Internal Association of Scientologists (“IAS”) or the Ideal Org/Continent/World/Galaxy/Universe? Would you rather go to Florida for Disneyland and not Flagland? How many times have you had to report to Flag for an off-policy “Six Month Check”? How many times have you withheld screaming at a stranger, a friend, a co-worker, your husband or your own child because of Flag’s frustration?

Have you ever felt the restraints of the strait jacket that Scientology Inc. (“SI”) has tailored just for you? Has Sec Checking ever made you feel as though you’ve been tied down and bludgeoned spiritually?

Have you ever wondered why an Auditor focuses more on what the e-meter says than what you say? Have you ever wanted to voice your concern that David Miscavige, Chairman of the Board (“COB”) has changed the technology yet again?

It’s not your fault if Flag makes you feel miserable, Hailley.


Inspired By:

The Underground Bunker (Tony Ortega on Scientology), “Scenes from a ‘Going Clear’ screening — Alex Gibney at the True/False Festival,” March 10, 2015.

Something Can Be Done About It (Mike Rinder’s Blog), “Andy Porter Speaks,” March 7, 2015.

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