Scientology After Going Clear
Los Angeles Field Operations
Tuesday, April 7, 2015, 4:30 PM

Or: Invasion, Scientology Style

This is Fred G. Haseney, your West Coast Correspondent reporting from the corner of Vermont Ave. and Sunset Blvd., two blocks east of “Big Blue,” the big Scientology headquarters complex in Los Angeles, California. This is where Scientology Incorporated’s Body Routers (“BR”) come to haul unsuspecting citizens to their “church,” with promises of a “free” Personality Test or Dianetics movie.

So there I am, on the bus as it arrives at Vermont and Sunset. I’ve decided, however, to not stop at this bus stop. I’m standing at the door waiting for the bus to depart. The door opens and suddenly, standing almost in front of me on the sidewalk is my favorite Body Router, Frasier “We Know Who You Are” Not* (that’s the guy on the right in the photo). I see him before he sees me… I draw… I aim… and “FIRE”:

“Going Clear!” I shout, “Scientology exposed! See the movie, read the book!

I don’t think he knew what hit him, and then the door closed and the bus left the scene of the crime.

Body Routers: ZIP
Ex-Scientologists, Never-Ins, Independents and Free-Zoners: EVERYTHING!

* I used to call this BR, “Frasier,” until a friend of mine who loves “Dr. Frasier Crane” of the famed TV series, Frasier, asked me to think up a different name for the guy, so his new name is “Frasier Not” (I have to apologize to my friend because this guy looks too much like “Frasier” to call him “Al”). Frasier Not is the only BR who’s ever talked to me: he did say something today, but I couldn’t hear him. The only other time he’s spoken to me, he declared, “We know who you are,” which has become his middle name.

Disclaimer: I am neither a Scientologist nor a card-carrying member of Scientology Inc. Don’t be lured by a BR into any facility owned by Scientology Inc. If a BR offers you a free, sugar-free Redbull, flee! If you do happen to stumble into one of their Testing Centers or “Ideal” Organizations, don’t buy or sign anything; don’t give them any money; don’t make an advanced payment for a service; don’t give them your name, phone number, address (home or e-mail) or credit card number. Once you’re on Scientology Incorporated’s mailing list, you’re in for a “Billion Years.”

If you’re not a Scientologist, you’re considered the enemy, and they will treat you accordingly. Don’t ever forget that.


Photo courtesy: Something Can Be Done About It (Mike Rinder’s Blog), “LA Org Bodyrouting,” December 17, 2014.

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