Dear cult of Scientology:

I dutifully and loyally signed and sent to the nearest cult of Scientology the “Conditional Holiday Greetings” that you sent me, but the %#$@^$& thing was returned to me, postage—due!


(Inspired by OTVIIIisGrrr8! “Conditional Holiday Greetings from the Church of Scientology,” December 25, 2015; by “Scientology – What A Pathetic Individual“; alien picture courtesy “The middle finger,” at Pinterest.)